Hmm… Lama tak berblog. Saya masih teringat perasaan sy mendelete blog kesayangan saya pada tahun 2005-2006. Sakit juga hati waktu nak mendelete blog waktu tu. Sebelum sy tekan button delete tu, sy cakap pada diri saya “Saya takkan lupa post post sy disini, dan kenangan sy yg sy tulis dalam blog tu”
Genap 12 tahun, ternyata , saya semakin tua dan semakin pelupa.. dan sy terfikir, mgkn elok sy menulis blog untuk sekian kalinya. Yes, LucyGoAway. That’s my new blog. Why lucy ? because I am a forgetful Lucy. I easily forget things. I think I might be suffering from short term memory lost disease. Probably la kan.. and u know what, this Lucy is killing me since last 7 months ago. Oh yaa… am getting old. December is coming and i will be a year wiser or hmm… forgetter? is that the correct word? ya there you go, forget again.. hahha
This morning, when i was having Sahur with my parents and my brother, Wildan, i tried to make a conversation with my dad (Baba). well, just to make things happening at the table, rather than only makan makan saja, better if we have some bonding conversation kan ? So i started the conversation by telling them about my good frens Brother Ryan and Sister Amy who are interested to join and experience the celebration of Eid Al Adha. I was surprised with the response given by Baba. “Raya bukan untuk enjoy enjoy. awak dah salah concept, Raya itu penghayatan kita tentang hubungan kita dan Allah, bukan nak enjoy enjoy suka suka”. I replied “Baba, kakak cakap, mereka nak JOIN bukan nak ENJOY. They wanted to experience the celebration.. i thot it should be ok for them to join us”. Baba seemed to disagree with my argument. He kept saying “kakak is wrong”. and Wildan was standing behind Baba with his 2 thumbs up, teasing me since Baba disagreed with me. Childish huh? that’s my third brother.. hehe..
Masa ni, i really wanted to reply tau , to answer my Baba back. Telling him that i was surprised to get such responses from a person i respect the most. But i decided to keep quiet. My mum (Ummi) was just smiling. Dalam melayu cakap “senyuman yang penuh bermakna”. As much as i refused to argue Baba back, my mind keep thinking. Why baba has such responses?
I still remember, whenever people come to me, asking anything about religion, if i cannot answer them i will tell them “it is ok, i will come back to you after i consult my parents”. They will say “oh you are so lucky you have a person to turn to whenever you have question about Islam”.
Yes, i never have specific guru in my life, ever, religious guru or ustaz or ustazah in my life ever. My parents are my Guru ever since i was small. Eventhough i enrolled to a religious school when i was 10 years old, i already know how to read Quran. I knew how to read since i was 5 as much as i remember la .. My tajwid, my pronounciation semua precise.. alhamdulillah,(ok cuma now i lupa kan, sometimes tersalah juga) .. even my ustaz in my primary school surprised with my recitation. Who is my guru again ? My BABA and my UMMI, and my grandmother (Sitti). No one else, only them. Who are my idols? THEM.. Who are my inspirations? THEM.. simple.. and am very grateful to have such BABA, UMMI and SITTI.. any Question about Islam, any Question about fardhu áin, i can turn to them.
Back on my story at the table this morning, yes, i frustrated with the responses. But an hour after the argument, and ketidak puas hatian, i come to a conclusion, of why Baba gave such responses..
FORGET. yes, that is my answer and conclusion. BABA forgets. Forget what ? He forgets, the meaning of JOIN and ENJOY. huhuu.. simple kan ?
Do you know what that tells you? AGEING ! yes, BABA is getting old..
What comes next? ENJOY the moment whenever you with BABA. Be it, dia marah ke, dia happy ke, dia complaints ke, dia rambles ke…whatever la, ENJOY and be nice to him.. why? because HE is my BABA, and Allah says in Quran in Surah Al Luqman, ayat 14. ..”dan berbuat baiklah terhadap org tua kamu …”