Her Progress

When it comes to having kids, i never  plan. I never plan to have how many kids, how many boys how many girls. when to have one, when to have 2 when to have 3 or even 10. heheh.. ramai eh ? I leave it to Allah, selagi saya mampu saya berikan yang terbaik, while hoping for His guidance in guiding my little mujahhid and mujahiddah.

Time flies soo fast that today, Aalaa’is already 4 years old. Last 2 days, hubby and I went for year-end discussion with Aalaa’ teacher on her progress, and growth development. It was a good session afterall. Bukan semua play school buat discussion macam ni. Bagus kan? Well at least, i got to know how is she at school, what kind or development and social skill has been developed since i enrolled her to that school…

“Puan sangat bertuah di kurniakan anak seperti Aalaa’ ..” What a good statement to  begin with eh ? hehe.. sejuk hati saya mendengar pujian dari teacher tu.. well to sum up, Academic wise, Aalaa’ has no problem, alhamdulillah, semuanya berjalan lancar, in fact she is among the most advance kid in her class. Active and fast learner. Alhamdulillah. However, the teacher has some concerns,  she said, Aalaa’ has a very good leadership , but to certain extent, she is worried, if Aalaa’ is over confident that somehow, she cannot accept any defeat. hmm… agak confuse disitu. Bagi seorang ibu , saya rasa itu skill yang bagus. Malah mmg saya didik dia supaya menjadi Kakak yang baik buat adik adik dia.. jadi dia mesti ada leadership yang bagus. the teacher made a good point, when she said ” kita perlu balance kan perkembangan mereka. Tidak terlalu academic, tidak terlalu social. begitu juga dengan skills yang mereka ada.” hmm.. saya rasa saya faham maksud teacher hihi..

That is why i said penting discussion dgn the care taker. they spent so much time , more than we spent our time with our own kids. sometimes, we think anak anak kita sudah bagus, tp mgkn ada setengah bende kita over look. hmm.. InsyaAllah sy cuba didik anak anak saya dgn baik.. Mummy wiaam, u have so much work to do heheheh..

Pendidikan anak anak ini bukan lah bermula dari umur dia masuk sekolah tadika atau play school. bagi saya pendidikan anak anak bermula dari mak ayah nak ehem ehem lagi :p hihi..

Doa perlindungan dari segala gangguan syaitan jgn kita lupa. Sebaik air mani menjadi janin, dari situ pendidikan sudah bermula. Sebagai ibu, ayat ayat suci Al-Quran dah perlu di perdengarkan pada si janin. Waktu saya pregnant few weeks if am not mistaken, i already asked daddy to talk to the janin,  of cos dia pon pelik .. aik belum apa apa lagi dah nak cakap cakap? i said ” tell him or her, that u re the father hihihi..” sy cukup concern waktu saya mula2 pregnant. tp of cos, sy ada rasa malas nak baca quran, hak hak.. biasala, alasan nya, kita loya loya, pening peninng, penat , nak tdo, mengantuk bla bla bla bla…. tp sy tetap paksa diri saya untuk baca Quran sebanyak mgkn. sy kata pada diri saya “Ok sy malas nak baca banyak sbb penat, fine, no obligation, but i always ask myself to try to read at least, suratul rahman, lukman, maryam and yusuf” Everyday i set my own KPI, cewah.. hi. kalau malas pon, sy dengar bacaan quran dan cuba ikut yg mana sy rasa saya hafal. well kalau habis malas, al fatihah, ibu segala surah, dan tiga qul cukup memadai.. APA?? lagi malas? LailahillaAllah, baik lah, kita zikir… heheh..bila sy gosok perut sy zikir smpi sy tido..hehehe..

itu cerita pregnancy yg pertama, pregnancy kedua, sy lebih ‘bijak’.. dan lebih rajin ..hihihi.. saya lawan malas saya, saya kata, sy mgkn tak mampu habis kan tp at least saya hayati lebih mendalam surah maryam, yusuf, lukman.. sy bercerita pada baby.. sy hayati surah Maryam supaya saya lebih kuat .. maklumlam, second pregnancy bukan mudah.. didalam nak kan perhatian, di luar juga apa kurangnya, lagi pula disisi (suami) huhu.semua nak kan perhatian..jadi sy perlu kuat.. kalau ada masa, sy akan cuba menghafal surah Yaasin waktu itu. Bila sy perdengarkan surah Yaasin dalam kereta, pasti saya akan ikut bacaan tersebut dengan sungguh sungguh, dalam perjalanan ke office masa tu adalah dalam 3-4 kali sy boleh ulang surah tu.. heee 🙂 alhamdulillah…

Bila Aalaa’ dah dilahirkan, i recite ayatul quran, every morning to Aalaa’.. sy sendiri yang bacakan, Al fatihah dan 3 kul..sehingga dia boleh bercakap.. Alhamdulillah, dia cepat menghafal.. tp of cos la bukan al quran je saya dengarkan, untuk dia mahir English, sy turut nyanyikan lagu english.. manalah tau dia jumpa org British .. hak hak hak hak.. adoiyai..

Well, pada ibu ibu, i would like to advise, never ever give excuses to read Quran. Talk to the baby, and make doa as much as u can. Saya kalau saya pregnant lagi, saya akan habis kan Al Quran , at least 2 kali la dalam 9 bulan heheh..amin insyaAllah…

Semoga anak anak mummy menjadi mujahid dan mujahidah yang menegakkan syiar Islam dan memperjuangkan agama Allah. Ameen.

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Long Way To Go

Yesterday morning, early morning, when i was washing the kids’ milk bottles, Daddy came to me, and said “Happy Anniversary Mummy”. I was damn blur.. my reply was “No way, seriously? Is it today?” hahah  gosh.. eh normally am telling you, i yang tunggu the date tau.. seminggu sebelum the date i dah sibuk-sibuk remind Daddy.. “Daddy, the day is coming, I want that , I want this”.. hahaa.. (well of cos i never serious about hadiah cuma saja nak pulling Daddy’s leg hihi).. And today.. Saya lupa.. gosh! malu betul..well ok jugak sesekala lupa ni, at least Daddy ingat..kan? ngeh ngeh..

Yes, 20 November 2007 which is FIVE years ago, I signed the “lifetime agreement” (surat nikah) promise to  myself that I will do anything for this man, love this man just to get HIS love.. forever until I die, eventhough I know nothing about this man. Totally TAWAKKAL to Ála Allah. I only know he is an engineer, from felda pahang, has 7 siblings he was the sixth. Definitely not from a rich family.Family yg cukup sederhana. That is  it. Dia suka apa, apa favorite color dia, favorite food dia, rupa dia sbnrnya pon sy tak berapa nak ingat masa tu. and I agreed to be his wife.. crazy eh? why eh ? hahah..Actually, dia pon sama, Daddy tak tau apa apa pasal saya. Everything happened sekejap sgt. We started to know each other after the nikah. Well it was not that easy anyway..but one thing we both agreed before the akad, nothing else but to love each other for Allah s.w.t. and tawakal and accept each other as we are.

As much as I was happy for being a wife to a man that I dreamed of, I freaked out. Takut kalau pilihan yang saya sendiri pilih, tak di sukai oleh Umi Baba. Takut tak serasi, takut saya sendiri tak serasi dengan ibu mertua, takut kalau kalau saya sendiri sbnrnya tak bersedia untuk menjadi isteri. Setahun saya ambil masa untuk terbitkan cinta saya seikhlas yang mungkin untuk suami. Ya, Daddy ada semua yg sepatut nya seorang suami ada. Tp biasala, syaitan mmg suka nak runtuhkan masjid yg dibina. Ada aje alasan yang buat sy rasa nak marah dan menyesal pilih Daddy. Saya akui, tahun pertama perkahwinan kami byk diduga. Daddy bukan la seorang yang byk cakap, susah untuk saya mengenali dia. Daddy bukan la org yg muda dan gila-gila macam saya. Dia bukan la romantic seperti mana kawan-kawan saya. Pendek kata, we both have nothing in common.

Siang malam saya berdoa untuk tetapkan hati saya. Kami solat berjemaah setiap kali ada kesempatan. Berharap hati kami bertemu dan cinta tersemai. Allah dengar setiap rintihan saya. 3 bulan selepas bernikah, i got pregnant. For my parents, it was too soon for me to get pregnant. Since they dunno well my husband. But I know, semua nya ada hikmah. Tiada yang lain saya  bergantung hanya pada Allah. Saya terus yakinkan hati saya bahawa anak ini yang akan menyatukan kami sekeluarga. Anak ini akan buat Baba yakin dengan Daddy dan akan buat Umi percaya saya  mampu jadi ibu yang baik untuk cucunya. Dan semua terbukti apabila Aalaa’ dilahirkan, segalanya berubah..

I realised that Daddy loves me more than other things in his life when he was the one who take care of me during my first confinement. He prepared hot water for me before he went to work. He even helped me in the bathroom, clean my nifas for me, even he actually scared of blood. He was the one who help me to wear bengkung, put socks on afraid if i got cold. Sabar sungguh dia melayan karenah sy di dalam waktu pantang. Allahuakbar, waktu itu saya terasa Allah mencampakkan cintaNya dalam hati saya untuk Daddy. Bergenang air mata saya waktu tu. Itu lah suami saya. Indahnya cinta yang kami dasarkan pada Allah.

Genap 5  tahun, we are blessed with 2 kids. With all my love for three of them, I hope i can get HIS redha, and feel HIS love.. the eternity love. I hope I will be Daddy’s hurul ain in the Hereafter. Nothing else. To be honest, Daddy byk ajar saya untuk jadi isteri yang solehah. Dia byk ajar saya apa itu sabar. Thank you Daddy. I love you and I know u know that.. 🙂

Happy 5th Anniversary, Daddy! oh Allah bless our marriage, and grant us Your strength for us to be a pious servant and the best for our kids.Guide us  ya Rabb to the right path to Jannah. We still have a long way to go and please, please and please.. i beg for Your love to be in our hearts forever. Amen.

Wrinkle wrinkle go away

When i know the fact that next year, i will turn 30, i freak out .. i freak out sbb am almost half of Prophet’s age when he wafat. what does that mean? it means, am getting old, age is catching up.. huhu.. for a normal woman like me, what make me worry is WRINKLES ..hahaha..

So what did i do? started to have few skincare products. dulu i ni pakai cleanser je.. pastu bila pg UK, i add moisturizer..after i had my first kid, sbb tdo lambat and tak cukup tdo punya pasal, i bot eye cream.. sbb dah macam panda kan..haha..so ingat nak pakai laa…hehe.. tp until now, i tak nmpk mana eyecream i tu..hilang.. and lately, i am thinking to have a collection of skincare product plak.. ok, now i topped up my list with toner.. and JUSSSTT now, i bot a night cream…wow! NIGHT CREAM…i laughed at myself man when i was at the cashier tadi.. gile , wiaam beli night cream..first time in her life dude!!! hak hak..

My satisfaction for having this expensive night cream (ok, kalau RM 50 tu kira mahal la for me k..hahah) is just for a while aje.. when  i was walking back to office , alone… i thot of something.. do i really need this?Why do i need this? Is there any alternative way?Getting old is the reality of this world, there is young people , there must be old people, and why should i be worried and scared of being old? Why ? Why and Why

I was in a very deep thot ..that i didnt even realise i almost reached my office..i can hear the jemaah from Tabung Haji, i can even see the jemaah from here.. Allahuakbar.. rasa macam nak lari je join jemaah sama sama.. i can feel that i will be strong if i join the jemaah.. i love to be in jemaah u see.. i love to be in a team..

and u know what? At that moment, i have the answer , the answers to all of my thots and questions tadi.. yes.. the alternative to my skincare ni ialah WUDHU’… haah ablution … fuyyo, where does that word come from? haha… yes Ablution.. Why u need this Lucy? adeii.. Go and do u prayer at night.. that ablution is the ultimate night creeamm.. clean ur inner side.. then u will glow..glow glow glow bizinillah!

Tp betul tau, bukan la poyo ke apa tau… mmg betul, when u do qiyam, when u submit yourself to Allah, ur heart will be soooo soft , ur tear will come down, and  cleanse your face..hee.. tak caya? buat laa.. hihi.. and of cos, not only u will clean your face,   but also your heart, and u will have nothing to worry.. sbb hati you dah tenang ! heee… and InsyaAllah akan berjaya dunia dan akhirat.

While thinking about solat , wudhu’ and qiyam,  one person come to my mind.. yes, it is ABANG.. if only he can join that Jemaah that i just saw.. if only, he join us with our Jemaah at the office, if only he cleanses his face with a simple ablution.. if only he raises his hand and make doa … the first one who will cry is me..  huhu… Oh Allah, make it easy for him. Please guide him and please open and soften his heart to turn to you. Amen..

 

Note for the author:  Please, after your Japanese friend ni balik, Do qiyam.. u must wake up.. and do your cleansing activities.. oh, rindu dah nak solat at night..

HIS will always be done

“Bila Umi tgk kita byk daging dalam peti, umi geram nak buat nasi Arab”, said Umi when we were in the kitchen last nite. “Boleh je nak buat, tp esok ada Hari Sukan sekolah Aalaa’, dari pagi smpi tengah hari, kakak tak dapat tolong umi, Macam mana?”.. i replied. “Tak pe la, awak balik je dari sukan, awak tinggal makan je .. umi dah siapkan semuanye nnt..”Umi insisted to make nasi Arab jugak, even she knows am not gonna be there to help her. Well of cos , i dont have a good feeling when i hear that… because i know what exactly will happen.. hehehe..

This morning, i terlambat bgn..haha.. adoi, then umi jerit from downstairs kejut saya.. well as i said, i knew since last nite kan? hehe.. bila dia jerit je i dah tau dia not in a good mood.. kah kah, mgkn sbb saya TERBANGUN lambat ( actually tertido semula masa ulit ‘Auf) hihi.. so after subuh, i kejut Aalaa’ .. and terus i bisik kat Aalaa’. “Kak, bgn kak, today we have some sports to do.. No 1 ok ( hehe saja je nak kasi semangat sikit)” and of cos, she opened her eyes widely, she just realised it is her sports day haha..comel gile.. bila kitorg turun bawah, nak mandi, i nmpk umi tgh kemas living hall. and i asked Aalaa’ to remind sitti that today is her sports day.. u know what sitti replied ?

” Ngak, Sitti ini ya bibik… jadi mau kemas satu rumah.. byk kerja, ngak bulih melihat kamu main sukan” (sila baca dalam loghat indon).. And Aalaa’was so sad, and she said to me.. in the bathroom “Mummy, sitti bukan bibik, sitti tu ummi..” Oh dear ! innocent nya awak.. kesian budak tak faham hihi.. adoiyai.. ” Yes Aalaa’ sitti bukan bibik..”

Of cos, before i left house, i dont have a good feeling, in fact masa dalam dewan, mmg sy nak balik cepat je rasa.. sy hanya focus pada permainan Aalaa’. after she finished, i straight away suggested to Daddy to go home.. Daddy said, “lets buy something to make Ummi happy”. and we bought her a blueberry cheesecake.. for her belated birthday.. hoping she will like it

When we arrived home, umi was alone sleeping in the living hall, baba out playing golf, Sebab bau nasi Arab ummi yang sedap, i terus hidang nasi and we had our lunch.. mmg nasi arab umi yg terbaek.. sedap nak M.. i will remember the smell, the taste, the texture..everything about her nasi Arab.. terbaekkk wa cakap sama lu ! hihi.. While eating my bro, sis and SIL pon blk and meriah la, (but without Baba).. then later Abang Wajdi plak smpi with his twins.. and we straight away celebrate the birthday, ( potong cake je pon, to put smile on Ummi’s face) of cos dia senyum, Dia masak semua org makan sedap, ada hadiah lagi from my sister , ada cake plak ( phew nasib baik Ummi cakap sedap) and she likes the cake so much Alhamdulillah.. heaven kan?

Umi masak so much that nasi Arab, that even dinner we had nasi Arab. the best part is, waktu dinner, my Uncle (Ami Alwi/Ayah Mat) who just arrived from MECCA.. baru balik haji, pon join our dinner.Allahuakbar.. Berkat sgt dinner tu, walau  ummi masak just enuff for our family, now it even enuff for 2 big families.. Allahuakbar, we were so happy..

i was touched by Ami Alwi’s story, about how he managed to get visa for Hajj.. He got visa a day or 2 days before depart, but when he arrived at the airport, flight was full and he technically cannot go on board la kan, meaning no Hajj la kan?

As my tittle said “HIS will is always done”, 5 minutes before the departure, one of the jemaah was declared bankrupt and Ami Alwi was called to replace that person.. with his Ihram which he just wore at the Secret recipe, he ran to the plane. Allahuakbar..  even it was only a minute, if Allah calls you, it will definitely happen. i was touched by this story.. i rasa nak nangis….betapa besar kuasa Allah, HE plans things soooo wellll kan?

Bila la saya akan kesana.. rindu sy makin membuak buak.. ingin sgt saya mencium hajarul aswad, ingin saya bertawaf, beriiktikaf di Baitullah..  qiyam di tempat yang paling barakah dalam bumi ini, ingin juga sy ber- saié dan merasa apa yang Siti Hajar rasa ketika mencari air untuk diri nya dan anak nya Nabi Ismail a.s.. waktu itu dia keseorangan ditinggal suami..dan hanya Allah tempat dia bergantung.. Sungguh saya ingin rasa perasaan itu.. Allahuakbar…

“Oh Allah, Ampuni saya hamba Mu yang hina, panjangkan umur saya, dan izinkan la saya untuk saya menjejaki Tanah haram Mu. Ameen”

Waalahua’alam..