Long Way To Go

Yesterday morning, early morning, when i was washing the kids’ milk bottles, Daddy came to me, and said “Happy Anniversary Mummy”. I was damn blur.. my reply was “No way, seriously? Is it today?” hahah  gosh.. eh normally am telling you, i yang tunggu the date tau.. seminggu sebelum the date i dah sibuk-sibuk remind Daddy.. “Daddy, the day is coming, I want that , I want this”.. hahaa.. (well of cos i never serious about hadiah cuma saja nak pulling Daddy’s leg hihi).. And today.. Saya lupa.. gosh! malu betul..well ok jugak sesekala lupa ni, at least Daddy ingat..kan? ngeh ngeh..

Yes, 20 November 2007 which is FIVE years ago, I signed the “lifetime agreement” (surat nikah) promise to  myself that I will do anything for this man, love this man just to get HIS love.. forever until I die, eventhough I know nothing about this man. Totally TAWAKKAL to Ála Allah. I only know he is an engineer, from felda pahang, has 7 siblings he was the sixth. Definitely not from a rich family.Family yg cukup sederhana. That is  it. Dia suka apa, apa favorite color dia, favorite food dia, rupa dia sbnrnya pon sy tak berapa nak ingat masa tu. and I agreed to be his wife.. crazy eh? why eh ? hahah..Actually, dia pon sama, Daddy tak tau apa apa pasal saya. Everything happened sekejap sgt. We started to know each other after the nikah. Well it was not that easy anyway..but one thing we both agreed before the akad, nothing else but to love each other for Allah s.w.t. and tawakal and accept each other as we are.

As much as I was happy for being a wife to a man that I dreamed of, I freaked out. Takut kalau pilihan yang saya sendiri pilih, tak di sukai oleh Umi Baba. Takut tak serasi, takut saya sendiri tak serasi dengan ibu mertua, takut kalau kalau saya sendiri sbnrnya tak bersedia untuk menjadi isteri. Setahun saya ambil masa untuk terbitkan cinta saya seikhlas yang mungkin untuk suami. Ya, Daddy ada semua yg sepatut nya seorang suami ada. Tp biasala, syaitan mmg suka nak runtuhkan masjid yg dibina. Ada aje alasan yang buat sy rasa nak marah dan menyesal pilih Daddy. Saya akui, tahun pertama perkahwinan kami byk diduga. Daddy bukan la seorang yang byk cakap, susah untuk saya mengenali dia. Daddy bukan la org yg muda dan gila-gila macam saya. Dia bukan la romantic seperti mana kawan-kawan saya. Pendek kata, we both have nothing in common.

Siang malam saya berdoa untuk tetapkan hati saya. Kami solat berjemaah setiap kali ada kesempatan. Berharap hati kami bertemu dan cinta tersemai. Allah dengar setiap rintihan saya. 3 bulan selepas bernikah, i got pregnant. For my parents, it was too soon for me to get pregnant. Since they dunno well my husband. But I know, semua nya ada hikmah. Tiada yang lain saya  bergantung hanya pada Allah. Saya terus yakinkan hati saya bahawa anak ini yang akan menyatukan kami sekeluarga. Anak ini akan buat Baba yakin dengan Daddy dan akan buat Umi percaya saya  mampu jadi ibu yang baik untuk cucunya. Dan semua terbukti apabila Aalaa’ dilahirkan, segalanya berubah..

I realised that Daddy loves me more than other things in his life when he was the one who take care of me during my first confinement. He prepared hot water for me before he went to work. He even helped me in the bathroom, clean my nifas for me, even he actually scared of blood. He was the one who help me to wear bengkung, put socks on afraid if i got cold. Sabar sungguh dia melayan karenah sy di dalam waktu pantang. Allahuakbar, waktu itu saya terasa Allah mencampakkan cintaNya dalam hati saya untuk Daddy. Bergenang air mata saya waktu tu. Itu lah suami saya. Indahnya cinta yang kami dasarkan pada Allah.

Genap 5  tahun, we are blessed with 2 kids. With all my love for three of them, I hope i can get HIS redha, and feel HIS love.. the eternity love. I hope I will be Daddy’s hurul ain in the Hereafter. Nothing else. To be honest, Daddy byk ajar saya untuk jadi isteri yang solehah. Dia byk ajar saya apa itu sabar. Thank you Daddy. I love you and I know u know that.. 🙂

Happy 5th Anniversary, Daddy! oh Allah bless our marriage, and grant us Your strength for us to be a pious servant and the best for our kids.Guide us  ya Rabb to the right path to Jannah. We still have a long way to go and please, please and please.. i beg for Your love to be in our hearts forever. Amen.

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