To be Happy (REDHA) is to be Grateful

Oh its year end dah.. Year end mmg seronok.. u know why? ya, because it is a long holiday for school kids, school teachers, and half long holiday for parents. well almost no holiday for analyst in year end eh? hek hek.. Next week i will be “alone” in the office when my brothers all on vacation.! Adoi! … well its ok, may be kita puasa la, so dont have to go for lunch alone.. feel so pathetic kalau gi lunch alone hihi..

Year end sale, School holiday.. finishing annual leave..and yes my Birthday too… hihihi.. I was born on 8 December 1983. That was 29 yrs back. Alhamdulillah, Allah let me see  HIS world for this long so far. For the first time again, i forgot my birthday on the day itself tau.. hihi…I remember it is my Day pon, when i received sms from Umi that morning. Half of myself happy gile when received the first sms and wishes from Umi. Half of me got touched by the sms too. It was a simple but a reminder to me

“Happy birthday anak umi manja umi dan doa semoga sihat, murah rezeki, di sayangi Allah & sabar dengan karenah umi/baba yang semakin tua tak tau siapa dulu yang akan dijemput”- Umi

Feel like crying masa tu. When i read that sms, i looked at my hubby, and kids. Thank you Umi, for loving them. Thank you umi, for having some time for them when i dont have. Thank you for fighting for your life while trying to push me out. Thank you for everything. Your thank you to me for being sabr in being a dotter is nothing to my Thank you for being a mother to me. Sabar saya melayan umi tak terbalas dengan sabar umi mendidik dan membesarkan saya. Love you..of cos umi and baba too.. hehe without baba , i tak kan jadi baby kan? hik hik.

Yes, being grateful is actually the key of being happy. Alhamdulillah, whenever i feel sad, i will try to look for something so that i can be grateful. When my aunty passed away, i was the only one who didnt cry. why ? because i managed to find a point where am sad but grateful at the same time… indeed i was “happy” for her for being in pain due to cancer in a very short time. Allah loves her because Allah never giver her chance to do chemo..Alhamdulillah. I was happy also because i got a chance to experience how to take care of a sick-old-lady. Nurse her, clean her after she went to toilet. clean her waste when she pee on her way to toilet, everything. Alhamdulillah. May Along rest in peace and be in His rahmah and be among pious people.

I have a very good example for my title today.

Yesterday, i got a news from Wildan that baby Aisyah passed away. The doctor had taken off the life support. Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rojiun. A little bit about baby Aisyah. She is 2 mnths old, she is a dotter to my SIL’s bestfriend, Muna. I still remember when first time i met her in the masjid during Wildan’s akad nikah last year. She is a nice chap. Sopan, very soft spoken. Sentiasa senyum. i can see she is very loving towards people around her. She just got married jugak rasanya that time..if am not mistaken. and last week, after almost a year, i got a news that she involved in an accident in Kuala Terengganu. It was quite bad.. the car hit a tow truck which was making a u turn ke apa ke tah.. Ryan, the hubby was ok. but it was her and the baby got injured quite badly. Both mother and baby got broken leg. The baby had the worst condition as she had  blood clot in her head. Of cos the doctor said the chance to be alive was very thin. Brain damage kot. Allahuakbar.. kesian betul.. When Wildan told me today they will end the life support, first thing i asked, “How is the mother?” i got a very interesting point from Wildan’s response:

“Muna said she redha with everything. For all this time , she got everything that she has been wanted for. and now, for Allah to take Aisyah from her, she totally redha”..

Adoi! Mulia nya kamu Muna. Hebatnya kamu Muna, bergenang gak la airmata ni.. i almost almost cry..yes, moral of the story, when she was sooo upset for gettting chance to be a mother for only 2 mnths, she was sooo grateful for what she has and what Allah has given her in order to be at where she is now. But we never know what it takes for her to be at that redha stage kan? but at least we know Muna managed to find the point where she is upset but grateful and therefore she Sabr.. which in the end the great reward from Allah is waiting for her in the Hereafter.

To Muna and Ryan, even i barely know you, you are still my sister and brother, who are always in my doa, insyaAllah. May Allah rewards you for all your Sabr. HIS test in this world is nothing to the reward that you will get in the Hereafter. Aisyah will be waiting for you in front of Jannah insyaAllah..adoi sy nak nangis..huhu.. I remember one of the story from my brother about the kids who refuse to get into Jannah until their mother follow them.. Allahuakbar.. this is the reward Muna for your sabr..

ok.. dah Subuh.. Saya solat dulu.. Until  we meet in the next entry, insyaAllah.

Wallahuaálam.

The Support System in my Life

Last week, my HR called me up for some discussion which we called “CAREER MAPPING”uhuk uhuk… to map my career path in my current company la kot..hikhik.. Apparently, it was more to an update instead of discussion, since the officer dah siap siap complete kan the map for me..so i have nothing much to say..hak hak.. layann….

Through out the “discussion”  the officer asked me few questions that until now it stucks in my head.. ” How is your work wiaam? How do u find working in this company so far ?” She looked seriously at me.. waiting for my answer.. of cos i said “ok.. alhamdulillah.. tak menjadi masalah, semua bagus.. menarik, tertarik and the bomb!” ( well i tak de la reply cam tu , tp optimist la haha) ..to be honest, i jawab ” ok, surviving.. alhamdulillah”.

Next Q she asked, “How is your relationship with other analysts?” wwooaahh… apa punya soalan ni..what kind of Q is this.. hak hak..this time, i started to be serious.. hhaha.. of cos , i took my deep breath before answer that Q.. Before i can answer that Q, i relate to the my previous answer to the previous question. Nothing else come to my mind, my brothers who have been there for me in the Company since my day 1. My sisters who have been teaching me a lot of things about life, about women, about frenship about office and of cos , politics in the office uhuk uhuk.. THEY helped and supported me to SURVIVE in my new company. Thank you brothers and sisters.

“Alhamdulillah, relationship dgn other analyst sgt bagus setakat ini, malah makin baik. dan makin sayang pada semua. First 6 mnths adalah waktu yang terbaik to know each other. To be honest Sue,  my brothers around me have been supporting for all this while,and am grateful for that, Alhamdulillah” Itu my response to the officer.

Ya, support system in our life is very very very important. I prefer to refer this kind of support system as “BROTHERHOOD” well can always call “SISTERHOOD” too. Yap, Brothers who sit near by me in the office byk support saya. In fact, before i decided to get into this Company, i got a very good support from my brother who now left the Company. When he left, mmg i was so upset, upset, because i lost a part of my support system. Well now my existing brothers play a very good role in supporting me who is damn weak in everything u see. Thank you brothers. I love them LillahitaaAlaa, i love them as much as i love myself. I love everybody in my life as much as i love myself, or may be more than myself actually. oh Allah bless them and their family. InsyaAllah i will always support u guys, of cos not in office things/affairs, since am good at nothing in research. but may be family? may be support to be a good imam? to be a good son? to be a good muslim? well i will try..insyaAllah.

Umi is a very good example of a person who lost her support system forever.. Her mother passed away when i was 10 yrs old, her father passed away when i was 17 yrs old, a year later or less than that, her younger sister passed away due to cancer. And Last Ramadhan, the most person she loved the most after her mother also passed away due to cancer. I could see she was so weak that day.. the day my aunty died on her lap. I prayed so that she will be strong to go through her days in the future. But today, i can see she misses my aunty very much. Her main support system. My aunty who had been supporting her through out her life since she was baby. My only aunty who knows how to cook her favourite food. The only aunty who understands her very very well. Very well that Umi does not have to say anything, Along (my aunty) already know what she wants. Today, i can see Umi is soo old, old because she looked tired..Tired of doing things that Along had been doing all this time for her. Allahuakbar. Saya rasa sedih, hati saya remuk.. Kenapa saya tak mampu menggantikan Along to support Umi. Saya sedih sbb saya rasa saya gagal meringankan beban umi. oh Allah forgive me for all my weaknesses. Umi ada sebut pasal maid. Katanya, I need a maid to help me to manage the kids. But my heart understands something else. She wants maid for herself, and i can see, she is just too ego to say that she needs one. Yap, InsyaAllah, sy akan dapatkan maid untuk Umi. Of cos, i wont say that the maid is for her. I will pretend as if the maid is for me and to manage the kids just like she wished. But i will tell the maid, she only needs to  be there for my mum.. not for my kids. Saya harap dengan cara ini saya mampu bantu umi, dan buat umi kurang penat. this is all because i love Umi so much.

Other than my brothers around me , Hubby of cos has been a good supporter for me ( eh i think i play that supporting role better than him kot uhuk uhuk…) Well thats not the topic for now.

Since last few weeks, i was tested by many many tests. Well i should be grateful because was not been tested like those in Palestine. kan? but still, am so weak. Weak that i only could cry.. at this time, my support system fid dunya, does not work for me. Well of cos insyaAllah  some advices/feedbacks from few discussions/deliberations about  some issues worked for me. and i did take into consideration. Well if my support system in this world does not work, e.g. Hubby, Umi, Baba, Brothers, Sisters, what kind of support i need then?

Yap, HIS ultimate support. Dear friends. Whenever you feel bad, turn yourselves, to Allah. HE loves for His servant to seek for His helps. HE pleases to see you make doa to Him. Because He is your creator, and nothing you shud submit yourselves to, other than Him. Indah kawan kawan, perasaan submission when we seek for HIS support. Nikmat dia terlalu indah yang saya sendiri tak dapat gambarkan perasaan tersebut sehingga sahabat sahabat sekalian sendiri sujud dan berserah pada DIA. Allahuakbar. Alhamdulillah, that what i have been doing so far. Everytime, i need opinion, no doubt, i will ask my brothers/sisters around me.. but Alhamdulillah, so far, i never forget to seek for HIS guidance too. (well never say never, said Justin Bieber), and I hope, my sahabat who is reading this, will remind me if i forget to seek for His Guidance. Let us, remind/support each other for Allah. By reminding and supporting each other, we will become stronger, stronger not only as a person, but as a group and nation. InsyaAllah.

Wallahuaálam.