Alhamdulillah, he always look good!

Oh dear, my demam come back ! hihi.. probably too tired .. so it comes back ..well it will go one day..InsyaAllah hehe..must drink plenty of water kan? i realised i dont drink that much huhuu…

Well today was a lovely day. Alhamdulillah. Thot of preparing nasi goreng for breakfast, but i was too lucky that Daddy said he wanted to have nasi berlauk in Pantai Dalam.. so woot woot.. was so happy to hear that keskes… and i have chance to have my nasi kerabu! hihi.. Today tak ramai stayed at home, Umi was in school, Baba and Walied went for Umrah course, Wafaa’went for kenduri, Wildan now in Pahang with his wife. So left only Walaa’at home heheh..

I love this particular restaurant which located in Pantai Dalam. I still remember, it was a very small restaurant ( may be 3-5 years back), selling variety of Kelantan cuisine. But i can see now, the restaurant become bigger in size, and the food is more variety. The best part is, i can see their kitchen expanded! besar gile dapur diorg , they even have specific section in their kitchen for vegetables, drinks, meats and chicken, special section for Santan! (nampak sangat org kelate suka makan yg bersantan ) hahahahha.. Not even the kitchen section, but also the dining hall pon mmg makin besar, they even have yg air-conditioned , smoking section, family section, bla bla.. oh did i mention it is now double storey restaurant? yes, they have surau upstairs! One thing i like about it is , the owner is very humble, even the worker pon sama. They always have Al quran recitation the whole day. So while u eat u can listen to the Quran recitation. Nice kan? the best is the recitation is from Masjidil Haram! oh best betul.. and u know what their moto for their business, it was written everywhere in the kedai ” haza min fadli robbi”. Cool kan?

While we were having our nice breakfast, i saw my Abah. Oh terus i jerit! “Abahhhhh…!!!!” ( and i raised my hand high! waving with full of excitement!) hihih semua org tgk i keskes..but i couldnt help it! i was too excited to see him. For so long i was trying to see him, tapi susah sgt nak jumpa..He was happy too, he even jerit balik “Eh Wiaam! Allahuakbar, lama tak jumpa, apa habaq?” My husband saw how excited i was, he salam Abah, i sbb rindu betul dgn Abah, i also salam but of cos berlapik la.. i just respect and miss him so much! i tak peduli dah org kiri kanan, i terus asked my kids to salam their atuk. Aalaa’ confused, she said “my tok is women, not a man” hihi cute!

Abah is my ayah angkat. I met him and his wife when i was studying in the UK. Masa tu we were working as a cleaner at Welsh Office. He was my supervisor. First time he saw me, he straight away asking about my background my family bla bla.. The next day, he brought me to his wife, and decided to differentiate me from other Malay students, by asking me to call them Abah and Mummy. Abah Mummy were in the UK sbb followed his son-in-law who was doing PHD in Business School. So to just get an extra money, both of them work. Since then, i was pampered with love ! heheh semua org jeles. During Ramadhan, i will have my own food. Mummy cooked for both iftar and sahur! During raya, i have “kampung” to spend my raya! During weekend, i can follow mummy and abah jalan jalan! hihi.. When we do shopping i can get free things! hahaha.. best gile..

I love both of them so much. They really make me feel close to my parents. Because they also love me just like their own dotter, they went back to Malaysia just to see my real Umi and Baba. hehehe.. best kan? So that is when 2 families become one family! hihi.. After my graduation, i lost their contact. But Allah loves us so much, that during my first confinement I met Abah and Mummy again. Mummy was so excited to see Aalaa’that time, she was so concern about me, she always come to my house to make sure i got a very good confinement period. She looked for tukang urut, she even urut me sendiri tau.. oh i love Mummy so much! But Allah loves her even more, that she passed away last 2 years due to cancer. May Allah place her among those who are pious. Amin.

Abah loves Mummy so much. I can see they were so in love despite of their old age. They were soooo romantic! Lovely.. sometimes i got shy to be in between both of them. But they said, having me around they feel like they are young! hihi.. best kan? A year after Mummy’s funeral, i saw Abah walking alone in Subang Parade, i could see how lonely he was. Mcam biasa i jerit panggil abah! hihi.. He was also excited that he even hug me masa tu… huhuh.. sian Abah…dia sgt sedih waktu tu. But that was last time.. To see him this morning, make me happy because i know he is doing good and just fine. He came to the restaurant with Abang Zul, kak Siti, Danish ( son of kak siti and abang zul) and hmm Abang( the youngest brother) and his wife kak ..hmm ( ayyo lupa !) haha..

I asked Abah if he is doing ok , he answered me with a very broad smile and said “Alhamdulillah, masih boleh berjogging, ikut depa ni “. Allahuakbar, May Allah bless you Abah. and grant you the best health so u can do more ibadah..

Daddy knew how much i love Abah and how close we are. When we about to pay, Daddy secretly asked the waiter to also include their bill. However, abang zul discovered that we tried to pay for their breakfast, but we insisted to belanja. sbb rindu sgt.. To end our lovely meeting, i hugged kak siti and kak ..( ish her name is not coming yet)..

This kind of relationship really really close to my heart. No matter who they are, i just love them lillahitaála, since day 1. oh Allah , bless our love and guide us to Your love. Ameen.

Till then..

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Forgive me ..

Uish lama benar tak update ni…terbaek lah…hehe..busy tau..busy cuti, busy buat keje, busy sakit dan busy segalanya. hehehe..Alhamdulillah, masih belum lupa beberapa perkara sebelum beberapa perkara datang, Sihat sebelum sakit, lapang (waktu/masa) sebelum busy, muda sebelum tua, kaya sebelum miskin… heheh..

Just merely an update. Alhamdulillah today, in office, i managed to “correct” my database for my global islamic banking..ekekek…Thanks to my brother who realised how irrelevant my numbers were..hihi..ish ish Wiaam, nasib baik Kak long tak perasan ekkeek… Today, i also had lunch with my sister Maisyara who is working nearby KLCC. We had SUSHI!! woott woot…yeah , it was the pregnant lady who requested for SUSHI, but unfortunately those yang tak pregnant ni yg order more than a pregnant lady..kekek..it was a very good lunch though..

I got back about 545 p.m. tadi. Not bad, my brother went back earlier , so i went back with Abang tadi. Sister Wafa went back earlier too.. tak nak la buat dia tunggu, ikutkan nak minta dia tunggu gak tp maluu…hihi shy shy cat keskes.. When we got out from office, sempat lagi Abang usha the girl next door…ekekek.. Gatal! hihihi.. but its ok, i am so used to help my other brothers usha the girls hahahah….teeettt..

Alhamdulillah i’m recovering from flu, insyaAllah 2-3 hari lagi baik..hehe… Since last few days/weeks, i always have this thot of going earlier than my parents or whoever around me. I dunno why. I can feel how tired my body is. my body is really really old.I’m tired emotionally mentally physically is the most ..huhu… this reminds me to do what exactly our Prophet did, He (pbuh) prayed, when others slept. Yes, Qiyam. i easily get touched whenever i make doa, whenever i sujud whenever i am in my prayer. Malu betul dengan dosa dosa lama. Serba salah betul rasanya pada Umi baba for not being a good dotter, Malu betul pada Daaddy for unable to be a good mother to his kids. Malu jugak to sisters and brothers for not be able to be a good sister to them.

Kalau kenangkan dosa lama masa muda, banyak tak trkata, malu nak sebut, malu nak mengadap Allah.. Malu sebab lemahnya iman, i feel soo ashame for having a very weak iman..Allahuakbar… Namun aku bersyukur for being able to get back to His straight path. but i still have doubt if i am far enough from His hell. am i close enough to His heaven. Can i even smell the good smell from His paradise. Semakin hari semakin rindu pada Kasih Nya, rindu betul pada Kekasih Nya (pbuh). Sometimes, i only cried. i cannot make doa at all.. all feelings in one bag..

It is not easy to be a career mother. Mother who works during the day, and works during the night. It is not easy.. but if i keep on saying it is not easy things will be hard for me. and i only demotivate myself. but i am an ordinary woman, so i would find it very frustrating if i make mistake along the way. it is so painful when i hurt somebody’s elses’feeling without me realising it, due to my super tiredness. BUt this is the life i chose, this is the life that has been written in the Luh Mahfuz for me, this is what we called qada’and qadar.

To those who read this, please forgive me for anything i have done to u directly or indirectly. Please tell others who do not know about this blog that i ask for their forgiveness. I might use a very high tone when i speak to u, i might use harsh words when i communicate with you. I might convey a wrong gesture when i talk to y ou. I am sorry. Please forgive me brothers and sisters.

Sometimes i am just too tired. which make my mood swing 360 degrees in just a second..huhuhu…Please forgive me. and FYI, you all readers, are forgiven. You guys have done nothing wrong at all to me, because i believe you guys are decent people. i can confirm that insyaAllah.

Daddy, please forgive mummy. I have done the best i can. If am gone, please take care our kids and educate them with Islam. They are the only mal (property) i have for my akhirah. Am ok to get tired to make u look good, to make ur tummy full, to make you happy to put smile on your face to prepare drink when u are thirsty. Nothing else i ask from you, educate our kids with Islam.

Umi Baba, please forgive kakak. I have done the best i can as a dotter. but if i make u sad, forgive me. it was my fault. i love you as u taught me who is Allah. Who is my Rasul, What is my religion. and i hope i can be your property forever in dunya wal akhirah..

to my brothers and sisters , be it biological sisters, in laws, or my brothers/sisters in Islam.. forgive me. forgive me if i use wrong word when i talk to you.. i always forget things, and im sorry for being so forgetful. I n ever ever become so forgetful when i was young, but i realise am so forgetful lately that i have to make this blog to remind me what had happened. Nobody realises this symptom i have unless you are very very close to me. you are all forgiven insyaAllah, i had forgotten what you guys had done to me. it is good if it was bad, and it is not good if it is good kan? itula lemahnya saya. pelupa orangnya.

till then, please forgive me. am tired. i tdo dulu. Salam semua..