Ask HIM.. only HIM

I have been through many things at once. Things happened drastically, too fast for me to cope. Things happened when I least expected. This is a great TEST for me .. it tests my perseverance in holding my principles in life.

Last night I managed to talk to my NAD. NAD is facing such a great turbulence .. which affect NAD’s life greatly. The turbulence comes from every angle of life, ranging from family, personal relationships, mom, dad, siblings, children, works, and colleagues. I believe it is not easy for NAD at this time. I feel bad for not being able to help NAD that much. Only with few kind words to keep NAD’s spirit intact.. to keep NAD in positive state in facing any test in life. Looking at NAD’s situation, I could not share my problem like I always do.. I need alternative.. I have to pour this bad feeling I have so I will forget about it.

When a person who is close to my heart having such great tests, and challenges in life, trust me, it affects me greatly. It tires me. It sucks out most of my energy when my mind only focus on the problem. This is not good for my health , emotionally, physically, mentally .. surely this is not good for a person who is close to my heart too.. right?

Since last nite I was thinking how can I help them … I was thinking how can help myself too. One problem comes after another. Test comes after another. TIRING… GIVING UP… IRRITATING! But is this the right way for me to face the challeng? If I feel this way when am at the weakest point of my life, then what more the person who are in deep “hole”. Allahurabbi…

Yes am at the weakest point of my life. Not only affected by NAD, but also affected by my own biological brother who accused me for something that I didn’t do. He is being irrational, childish and selfish. I got hurt deeply by his words… but he is my brother.. I could not reply or defends myself through words as that definitely will hurt him and I don’t wanna hurt him. The best to do now is SILENT. My silent is not a ticket for him to say that I agree to his accusation, but I believe, the truth will be seen ..then the words he threw on my face will finally goes back to him. Then only all of us will  learn the lesson.

Sad, frustrated ,hurt.. that’s the word .. but as a mother, a sister, a daughter a wife, I could not show this in front of my family. WHAT I CAN DO IS TO ASK HIM (ALLAH TAALA) FOR HELP AND GUIDANCE.

Oh Allah , only YOU who knows what is going on with me what is my state of spirit and soul I am at right now. Hence, strengthen me with your love. Guide me in taking any action to rectify things. Indeed, am the weakest slave of Yours. I have done many mistakes and sins. Forgive me oh Allah. Accept my Tawbah oh Allah.. only to You I submit myself to. Show me the way out, oh Allah. and show the way out for my Brother and NAD.  Ameen.

Till then, InsyaAllah.


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