The Biggest Secret 

This morning, when I was driving, I listened to a radio , and my heart was touched by a recitation of “talbiyah” which normally recited by pilgrims. Yes! Aidu’l Adha is next 2 weeks time. How time flies. MasyaAllah. 

For me driving is the best time for some self- reflections.. and while listening to the Talbiyah my heart stop one beat.. yes.. this time it really touched me. I cried while driving… Allah has touched my heart through the Talbiyah.. the best part is I have been to Umrah, and I recited this talbiyah, but I never feel how I feel now…now, right now in the car… while driving to my office the talbiyah touched my heart … 

See how Allah Taala uniquely touches our hearts in His very own way and whenever He wants to ..Allahuakbar.. Alhamdulillah wa Astaghfirullah.
Why I don’t feel the same when I was doing my umrah? Because I missed the meaning of one line of the talbiyah.. which one? .. this one…

….. Indeed all praise and bounty are YOURs and YOURs the kingdom…..

In layman word, it means, everything in this world is HIS..is owned by Allah Taala… be it, my eyes, my hands, my brain… even the car I drove, the house I owned, the husband I married, my parents I loved… everybody around me who come and goes are all HIS … including the feeling I have for all of them ..… it is all temporary in this world.. Allahuakbar..

Allah Taala has given us so much nikmah, and yet we still forget HIM, ok may be u guys not, but I do sometimes L .. HE definitely never forget us, including me.. for HIM to nudge me with this feeling this morning.. is such a big nikmah and HE indeed is unlocking the biggest secret for me..

What? Yes, truly when I was listening to the talbiyah, I AM dealing with a very complicated feelings… related to other humans.. which has caused me to feel upset, VERY upset, frustrated, down..annoyed, irritated.. giving up .. everything u named me the negative feelings,,.. I am dealing with all of them…

And with the talbiyah..indeed.. it inspires me to be strong to move on, and I am so confident that Allah is calling my name to tell me that this FRUSTRATION and SADNESS is just temporary.. ALLAH wants me to be sabar.. and analyse situation using my brain and my heart.. look at the issues with not only my eyes but also with my ‘eyes’ in my heart.. 

Thank you ALLAH for being there for me. Thank you Allah for helping me to go through what I am facing .. emotionally and spiritually. Thank you Allah for giving me a very strong rope for me to hold on.. and please Allah Accept my Tawbah .. because what have gone wrong is due to my own weaknesses. GUIDE me Allah in keeping myself strong in holding onto you rope until the very last moment … before I see you. Ameen.

 
Till then… InsyaAllah 

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